


bathroom thoughts

by TheDeadAreWalking



Category: Jacksepticeye (RPF), Markiplier (RPF)
Genre: Comfort, Introspection, M/M, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 06:39:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9589181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDeadAreWalking/pseuds/TheDeadAreWalking
Summary: Here, in this moment, Jack isn't sure of much. He wishes he was sure but he isn't.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this listening to piano much and I recommend the same.

Looking down at the object in his hand he felt as if the world had stopped and slowed to a dull rumble. It was as if all the rush of life and movement had left the entire planet and it was just him and this small room he sat in. The air felt stale as if he hadn't opened the door in years. Maybe it had been years? There was no way to tell how long it was. Only that was a lie, he knew it had only been a couple minutes since he had come here. It was still day outside, the clock on the wall still ticked at the same speed it always had and always will but inside his head, it had all stopped. The world to him crashed and was waiting to be rebooted.

His mind wandered away from the waking world and into itself. He became introspective in that moment. He remembered how it felt the first time he had fallen from a tree. He remembers the sudden fall and the even faster snap of bone. There was a short pause between the snap and pain that would come sharper than anything he ever felt, he felt at peace. That maybe this wasn't happening, but then the pain came and he knew it had. You can never trust those numb moments.

In all the time he had been alive he had only been afraid twice. Once was the first time he had left home to travel. He had went to California, he wanted to see America. It was late at night. He was standing at the edge of the ocean on a cliff and looked out to realize he was so small. So very small in this large, large world. The other time was when he had gotten a phone call at work from the hospital. They were calling him to tell him Mark was in the hospital. He was going to be alone. Alone, in this big, big world.

And now.

Now he was scared again.

He was sitting in his bathroom on the toilet. He had been here for several minutes. He was now watching the dust move slowly through the air. It shimmered in the small stream of light from the high bathroom window. He let himself wonder what would happen if he left right now. Would anyone come for him? 

The second the thought surfaced he knew the answer. Yes, Mark would. He wouldn't stop either. 

So why then, why was he so scared of the news he had just received?

He supposes it's a feeling old as time itself. Something humans have felt since before there was even spoken language. Taking a deep breath, he moved his head up to stare at the ceiling. He never considered himself a religious man but right now he felt like praying. 

Mark would come for him any minute now, he knew this. Mark was always aware of when he needed him but he hoped he would stay away for a while longer. Just a little more time, he needs a little more time. Because the second Mark taps on the door and he lets him in he knows nothing will ever be the same. That's okay, he knows that, but that doesn't mean he doesn't wish for everything to pause so he can catch his breath. He just needs to breathe. 

He lets himself imagine what he's going to say. How do you say something like this? There is no beating around the bush is there. No waiting or pretending. 

Once, he had read something about how life waits for no one and if you are smelling the roses you will miss everything. He hates this because he likes the smell of the roses and if others can't appreciate them then what are the roses there for?

It's coming now, the tap at the door. 

He can hear Mark's soft footsteps approaching the door now. He is just outside the door. Mark knows he knows he is there. It's annoying in a way. Mark's not saying a thing and if he lets himself he can almost ignore him, for just a moment. And he does, he ignore him.

But then he knocks. Just lightly with one knuckle and the words come. They shatter the peaceful world he had built alone in the bathroom. 

"Jack, is everything okay?"

Is it? He knows it is but that doesn't make it easier. It really doesn't.

"I'm not sure," he hears himself say. His own voice sounds far away as if the words are being spoken underwater. 

"That's okay," Mark says. He knows it is. 

He can hear Mark settling against the wall outside the door. He's not planning on leaving until he comes out. He wonders how long he would stay out there. He knows it's a while. The door isn't even locked, he just noticed this. Mark could come in if he wanted to. He doesn't even try to enter.

Jack looks back down at what he's holding. It's a wonder he hasn't dropped it by now. But, no, it's just gently resting in is palm still facing up at him. He sighs and lifts his other hand to rub his face and stands slowly. He back and butt protest after so long of sitting on the toilet lid but he stands anyway. 

The walk to the door in actuality is only three steps away but right now it may as well be light years away. As if controlled by someone else his legs make their way to the door and then he pauses. He looks back to where he just sat and almost goes back, but he can't, he knows he can't, he has to go out. He opens the door with his free hand and breathes. The air out here isn't stale.

He keeps his eyes forward, staring at the wall. He knows to his side he will find Mark leaning against the wall. He's not ready to look at him, he knows he will have a warm smile waiting for him and even warmer eyes. He will tell those eyes his deepest secrets every time and he isn't ready. He isn't ready. Not yet. 

"Jack?" but he has to be ready. He has to be brave. 

This isn't just about him. It's not about Mark, either. Not anymore.

"Yeah?"

"What is it?"

What is it? The end and the beginning. 

"I'm pregnant." 

Silence, they say, is golden. He really wishes he knew who the they are that keep coming up with these stupid sayings. Because right now the silence holds ever if, then and but that could possibly come from Mark's mouth, "Oh."

Oh, is right.

"Yeah," he says lifting the pregnancy test for Mark to see and feels Mark take it from him. He still can't bring his eyes to Mark's face. He's not sure what he will find etched into the face he has fallen asleep and woken next to for years.

He's not sure of anything right now. 

What he is sure of is the feel of Mark wrapping his arms around his middle and pull him back into him. He is sure of that.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a little different for me but i hope you like.


End file.
